You’ve been told you’re too sensitive.
You’ve been told you’re too quiet.
Too much and not enough, all at the same time.
If that sounds familiar, welcome home.
I’m Courtney—Black, autistic, and finally beginning to understand what it means to take up space in a world that often tries to fold us into something smaller and more digestible. I created The Soft Loud because I spent most of my life trying to “figure it out” alone. I didn’t even know what “it” was. I just knew I was struggling—socially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually—and I didn’t have the right language or support to name it.
Even if it means walking all my life on this Earth, I will find my louding voice.
— Abi Daré, The Girl with the Louding Voice
This Space Exists Because We Need It
Too many of us fall through the cracks.
We’re misdiagnosed. Overlooked. Told we’re dramatic, lazy, or “just going through a phase.”
But what if we’re just autistic—and no one ever saw it?
For women of color especially, autism is often invisible. The research and diagnostic criteria were never built with us in mind. The Female Autism Phenotype Theory—a theory that explains how autism can look very different in girls and women—has been around since 1992. And yet, I didn’t hear about it until adulthood.
I’m not the exception. I’m just one of the many.
And that’s why this blog exists: to speak into the silence that so many of us have had to sit with.
What You’ll Find Here
This isn’t a self-help blog filled with tidy answers and one-size-fits-all routines. I don’t have everything figured out. But I’ve built a toolkit. And I want to share what’s in it.
Here’s what you can expect on The Soft Loud:
- Raw personal stories from a late-diagnosed Black autistic woman
- Reflections on topics like masking, burnout, identity, and self-advocacy
- Deep dives into misunderstood issues like hygiene, sensory overload, and emotional regulation
- Real conversations around beauty standards, childhood trauma, and neurodivergent joy
- Celebration of “little” wins that are actually huge in our world
- Resources & routines that cater to autistic needs instead of trying to erase them
Let’s Talk About Belonging
The Soft Loud is a space for nuance. For contradictions.
For softness and boldness. For the loud scream that lives inside a quiet face.
I named this blog after what it feels like to live inside a body and brain that don’t always line up with what people expect. I am soft. I am loud. I don’t always have the volume knob set to a socially acceptable level—and I no longer care to.
Here, you don’t have to perform. You don’t have to explain. You just get to exist. Messy. Whole. Beautiful. Overstimulated. Soft-spoken. Loud-hearted.
Join the Community
This space isn’t just mine. It’s ours. I want to hear from you.
- 📨 Subscribe to get future blog posts directly in your inbox.
- 💬 Comment if something resonates. Don’t be afraid to add your voice to the conversation.
- 🔁 Share this with someone you think might need it.
- ✉️ Reach out via email if you just want to talk. My inbox is always open for kindred spirits.
Final Words
We’ve been taught to shrink. To adapt. To disappear into the background.
But I’m learning, day by day, that our softness is not a weakness.
Our loudness is not a flaw.
If you’ve ever felt like too much and not enough all at once, The Soft Loud was built with you in mind.
You’re not alone anymore.
You’re seen. You’re safe. You’re home.